Nobody wants to see your happiness on Christmas! You gotta show everyone just how nuts you are, so we know you’re actually normal. It’s counter-intuitive, but it works, trust me.

Christmas can be a testing time of the year, since you have to cherry-pick gifts for everyone around you to prove that you know their deepest, darkest desires. Nobody wants to be the “bad gift” guy, and there’s a few easy ways to avoid that. The obvious solution is to not give anyone any gifts at all, but that’s probably not very nice. Taking the weird route is often a better solution.